Of Course You Realize, This Means War

Ah, for the lost innocence of . . . well, of three days ago, when David Ignatius of the Washington Post penned these words:

Let's try for a moment to read the mind of an al-Qaeda operative in the remote mountains of Waziristan as he listens to the news on the radio. His worldview has been roiled recently by two events--one confounding his image of the West and the other confirming it.

The upsetting news for our imaginary jihadist is the election of Barack Obama as president of the United States. This wasn't supposed to happen, in al-Qaeda's playbook. Its aim was to draw the "far enemy" (meaning America) ever deeper onto the battlefields of Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan. Instead, the jihadists must cope with a president-elect who promises to get out of Iraq and whose advisers are talking about negotiating with the Taliban. And to top it off, the guy's middle name is Hussein.

That honeymoon sure didn't last. Today Ayman al-Zawahiri, al Qaeda's Joe Biden, released a recording that, as the Middle East Media Research Institute mildly puts it, "criticized U.S. president-elect Barack Obama." Memri has the transcript, in which Zawahiri addresses Obama in the second person:

"You represent the direct opposite of honorable black Americans like Malik al-Shabazz, or Malcolm X (may Allah have mercy on him). You were born to a Muslim father, but you chose to stand in the ranks of the enemies of the Muslims, and pray the prayer of the Jews, although you claim to be Christian, in order to climb the rungs of leadership in America. And so you promised to back Israel, and you threatened to strike the tribal regions in Pakistan, and to send thousands more troops to Afghanistan, in order for the crimes of the American Crusade in it to continue. And last Monday, your aircraft killed 40 Afghan Muslims at a wedding party in Kandahar.

"As for Malik al-Shabazz (may Allah have mercy on him), he was born to a black pastor killed by white bigots, but Allah favored him with guidance to Islam, and so he prided himself on his fraternity with the Muslims, and he condemned the crimes of the Crusader West against the weak and oppressed, and he declared his support for peoples resisting American occupation, and he spoke about the worldwide revolution against the Western power structure.

"That's why it wasn't strange that Malik al-Shabazz (may Allah have mercy on him) was killed, while you have climbed the rungs of the presidency to take over the leadership of the greatest criminal force in the history of mankind and the leadership of the most violent Crusade ever against the Muslims.

"And in you and in Colin Powell, Rice and your likes, the words of Malcolm X (may Allah have mercy on him) concerning 'House Negroes' are confirmed."

Even those who think the victims of 9/11 were little Eichmanns who got what was coming to them cannot possibly countenance such racial insensitivity. The only thing that can be said in Zawahiri's favor is that he didn't call Obama "Hussein." (Shame on you, David Ignatius.)

And in case you think we're just looking on the Sunni side of the street, Memri also has an address by Ayatollah Ahmad Khatami, a member of the Iranian Assembly of Experts*, in which he expresses skepticism about the president-elect's promise of change:

Other people run the show. For almost 60 years – since the days of Eisenhower – American foreign policy has not changed one bit. It's only the game that has changed. Sometimes they think they can control things by using the slogan of change, and other times by using the slogan of the war on terror. So it wouldn't be right to pin one's hopes on them. . . .

The American politicians should know that as long as they persist in their arrogance, this [Iranian] people will not change. The slogans of this people will remain the same. Our people has not changed one bit. Its slogan of hatred toward America continues to resound: Death to America.

The crowd then chants the familiar "Death to America."

The ayatollah should be careful what he wishes for. After all, he could change U.S. policy to bring it in line with a certain Beach Boys number.

* What would we do without 'em?

Don't Know? Vote O.
A new poll from Zogby International shows Obama voters to be shockingly ignorant of political trivia involving their own candidate:

83% failed to correctly answer that Obama had won his first election by getting all of his opponents removed from the ballot, and 88% did not correctly associate Obama with his statement that his energy policies would likely bankrupt the coal industry. Most (56%) were also not able to correctly answer that Obama started his political career at the home of two former members of the Weather Underground.

Nearly three quarters (72%) of Obama voters did not correctly identify Biden as the candidate who had to quit a previous campaign for President because he was found to have plagiarized a speech, and nearly half (47%) did not know that Biden was the one who predicted Obama would be tested by a generated international crisis during his first six months as President. . . .

57% of Obama voters were unable to correctly answer that Democrats controlled both the House and the Senate.

Wait, it gets worse. The test was multiple choice!

Most Obama voters did recognize John McCain and Sarah Palin, respectively, as the guy who didn't know how many houses he owned and the lady with the pricey clothes.

And it's not as if these questions were really hard, like asking Obama's middle name. Even we don't know the answer to that one.

A Blow to Voting Rights
Sen. Ted Stevens of Alaska has lost his bid for a seventh term, the Associated Press reports:

On the day the longest-serving Republican in Senate history turned 85, he was ousted by Alaska voters troubled by his conviction on federal felony charges.

This reminds us of a New York Times editorial from a few years back:

About 4.7 million Americans, more than 2 percent of the adult population, are barred from voting because of a felony conviction. . . . The cleanest and fairest approach would be simply to remove the prohibitions on felon voting.. . . .

American democracy is diminished when officeholders and political parties, for their own political gain, try to keep people from voting.

Yet that is just what Alaska Democrats and voters have done, denying Ted Stevens his vote in the Senate all because of a few felony convictions. We agree with the New York Times: It is a dark day for democracy.

Hire Education
You want credentials? Joseph Pflanz has credentials. Ideas, too. Innovative, cutting-edge ideas. About the only thing Joseph Pflanz doesn't have is a job. Thank goodness for the rest of us, because that means Joseph Pflanz has plenty of time on his hands to write letters to the editor. And the editors of the Tallahassee (Fla.) Democrat have seen fit to publish a letter of his, putting forward an innovative, cutting-edge idea on how to get someone like Joseph Pflanz a job:

Unemployment is about to go through the roof, just when we need people to be productive and increase consumer spending to aid the economy.

My suggestion is for all employers to put a moratorium on hiring already employed people. Only hire the unemployed.

Rather than moving a "hole" around by just making another opening to be filled, and never getting to full staff, get the position filled and help the economy.

If you are mentoring or grooming an individual, then go ahead and promote that person first, and then post that person's old position as open. If you have a job, give the rest of us a break, and let us compete for openings.

I have three college degrees, 25 years of experience, and I cannot get a job in Tallahassee.

Betcha none of those degrees are in economics.

Is This Guy Ever X-(
"Renato Brunetta, minister of public administration and innovation, has won unusual bipartisan support for a bill that promotes principles of transparency, standards and meritocracy in the public sector. It is, he trumpeted last week, an 'epoch-making reform,' " the New York Times reports from Rome in its Paris edition.

Here's an example of the "epoch-making reform":

He also believes civil servants will work harder if their performance is appraised more regularly, both internally and by the public. Last week he announced plans to use the smiley or frowny faces commonly used in text messages to allow clients to express satisfaction with public services.

"Imagine if someone got 500 frowny faces in real time," said Brunetta. "It's bound to have an impact."

Apparently he doesn't realize that people are :-D at him, not with him.

Who Says Conservatism Is Dead?
"Woolly Mammoth Genome Sequence May Bring Beast Alive"--headline, Bloomberg, Nov. 19

Life Imitates 'South Park'

• "In a secret meeting, Obama and McCain reveal that they are both members of an elite team of professional thieves who are planning to steal the Hope Diamond from the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. . . . Sarah Palin is also in on the plan, as is Michelle Obama; Palin is revealed to be an eloquent and intelligent Briton, whilst Michelle has only pretended to be Obama's wife in order to fool the media."--Wikipedia.org on "About Last Night . . .," aired Nov. 5
• "No Bride for Obama"--headline, Ledger (Lakeland, Fla.), Nov. 17

We Thought He Was the Smooth One
"Bill Clinton in Talks to Smooth Wife's Path to Cabinet"--headline, The Wall Street Journal, Nov. 19

Lost and Found

• "Clash Over $700bn Bank Bail-Out'--headline, BBC Web site, Nov. 18
• "Opec 'Lost $700bn on Cheaper Oil"--headline, BBC Web site, Nov. 19

'This Is Now Bone of My Bones and Flesh of My Flesh'
"First Person in World Gets Organ Entirely Made in Lab"--headline, KARE-TV Web site (Minneapolis), Nov. 19

And You Thought They Were Just Happy to See You
"Scientists Rediscover Pocket-Sized Primate"--headline, Globe and Mail (Toronto), Nov. 19

They Like Nothing Better, Except Messing Up Messerschmitts
"Gremlins Still Jinx LAUSD Payroll"--headline, Daily Breeze (Torrance, Calif.), Nov. 18

But Poor Old Goebbels . . .
"German Medic's Account Confirms Hitler Had Only One Testicle"--headline, FoxNews.com, Nov. 19

'Why Are Those FA Bans Driving on the Left?'
"Drogba and Ferguson Hit by English FA Bans"--headline, CNN.com, Nov. 19

But We've Been Taking It, and We're Not . . . What Were You Saying Again?
"Gingko Biloba Doesn't Prevent Dementia, Study Finds"--headline, Los Angeles Times, Nov. 19

'Come to Think of It, 900,000 Pounds Was Pretty Heavy'
"Nestle Recalls 900,000 Pounds of Lean Cuisine"--headline, ABCNews.com, Nov. 18

Isn't There Any Mandatory Retirement Age?

• "Fired 44-Year-Old Stripper Sues Club for Age Discrimination"--headline, FoxNews.com, Nov. 18
• "70+ Strippers Sue Club"--headline, Clear Channel, Nov. 18

News of the Tautological
"Dead Body Found in Cemetery"--headline, News Virginian (Waynesboro, Va.), Nov. 14

News of the Oxymoronic
"Scientists Find New Penguin, Extinct for 500 Years"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 19

News You Can Use

• "Getting a Job With Obama Easier Than You Think"--headline, Fort Worth (Texas) Star-Telegram, Nov. 16
• "Brothel Offers Free Entry to Men Who Have Its Name Tattooed on Their Arm"--headline, Daily Telegraph (London), Nov. 18
• "Facial Scars Can Help Win a Woman's Heart"--headline, Daily Telegraph (London), Nov. 17

Bottom Stories of the Day

• "3 Residents Attend City Council Hearing"--headline, El Paso Times, Nov. 19
• "Texas Legislature Set to Consider Some Odd, Trivial Bills"--headline, Dallas Morning News, Nov. 16
• "Obama Doodle Not for Sale, Owner Says"--headline, Chicago Tribune, Nov. 16
• "Hollywood and Climate Change Experts Ponder Global Warming"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 19
• "Vice President Cheney Indicted by Willacy County Grand Jury"--headline, Brownsville (Texas) Herald, Nov. 18

The Defense Rests
"A high-profile judge Tuesday dropped an investigation into Franco-era killings, ending what had promised to be the first criminal investigation into alleged atrocities committed by Spain's former dictator and his allies," the New York Times reports in its Paris edition:

The judge said Tuesday that he was dropping the investigation after state prosecutors questioned his jurisdiction in crimes that were committed 70 years ago and that involved dead suspects.

Trouble is, Spain is a member of the European Union, which prohibits the death penalty, and Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.

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(Carol Muller helps compile Best of the Web Today. Thanks to Joseph Dobrinski, Terry Holmes, David Gerstman, Dan O'Shea, Ed Lasky, Alan Ridgeway, Edward Himmelfarb, Mordecai Bobrowsky, Rosanne Klass, Michael Segal, Barry Kaplovitz, Simeon Oppenheim, John Williamson, Steven Stratton, Ray Hendel, John Pinneo, Thomas Szyszkiewicz, Dave Undis, Kelly Fogarty, Bryan Fischer, Bren Olswanger, Doug Black, Brian O'Rourke, Merv Benson, John Sanders, Joe Perez, Mike Stevens, Mike Judge, Mike Glasgow, E.F. Forshaw, Abe Beyda, Roger Johnson, Bruce Goldman, Michele Schiesser, David Stern, Ray Hull, Dave Tinkle and Glen Smith. If you have a tip, write us at opinionjournal@wsj.com, and please include the URL.)